prayer for a future tide

hollows show with stars

in sequence all these years 

paralyzed only by the possibility

of time... if this world were mine

*

we'd follow the ripples on the path 

to where we widen daily treads

into the light, though the trail 

turns water as salty as tears  

*

the sound of the sea is

so close to the humming om 

of planets... of eternity folding--

dissolving all we can ever know... 

*

reversing presents and lines in black

days on the calendar and yet brings 

the urgent surf of every day 

where we learn to love

__________
Pic: Nu's photo of Amma, Chelli, and me. I love that that there are complimentary wheelchairs at most museums. 

going through the (e)motions

Off to Grand Rapids today to visit the #1 Sculpture Park in the USA (are there others?) and then dinner at a friend's place until late at night when we had to break away to do our nightly video call with dad.

Already mom is feeling some anxiety about being away from dad.

Already I feel like I'm going through the motions and not enjoying this moment as much as I could be. I know I'll look back on this trip... I know we couldn't have done more, but I think I could do better compartmentalizing some of my grief about SLE so not making more of this amazing time we have together doesn't become another regret to tote. 

Pic: Sis, Nu, and mom at Meijer Gardens. The majestic greenhouses are in the background.

meta

I can't believe it has been a week (since my fam arrived, since SLE died... how is life so unrelentingly incessant?).

My sister and I took off for an early morning hike. We did a couple of midday ones last week, but the heat seemed to exacerbate her sadly near-constant migraine, so we thought we'd try a sunrise trek today. 

Later in the afternoon a matinee of Incident at Our Lady of Perpetual Help at our local regional Theater. So hilarious (and Irish!) that when Nu and Big A heard about it at dinner they wanted to see it too, so I'm taking them next week. 

Pic: Being meta about my sister's tee and photography at the Beal Gardens pond. 

sweet liberation

With all the horribleness about the big, bad bill--it didn't particularly feel like I wanted to celebrate this fourth of July yesterday. 

But American fireworks are truly spectacular, so I felt compelled to offer to take the fam to the outdoor symphony and fireworks at Adado Park. TBH, I was relieved that my mom begged off citing jetlag, especially since waiting for it to get dark enough for fireworks could mean she had to stay up until 10:30 or later...

But there was a freedom story to tell after all. There was a squirrel in the tea garden yesterday. They were as terrified of being indoors as I was of having them there and I was finally able to coax them out the front door. I thought that was the end of that. My sister said she thought she saw something scurry up a plant later, but I hoped she was mistaken. But then Big A woke up from his post-call nap to a chipmunk in our bedroom. This guy was totally unfazed by our presence, and had a quick little loop he'd carved out and didn't seem inclined to leave. Finally, Big A remembered that his grandma Louise used to use these humane traps thirty years ago, so he went and got one.  

They work (although they have bad reviews online).

Pic: The naughty fellow before we released him into Baker Woods. You know that saying about rescue dogs--"who rescued whom?" I feel like the one who's been rescued. And I wonder if we have a hole in our siding/cladding where all the little creatures are getting in... Also, the way Big A is milking this bit of heroism... SMDH.

the party I wanted to cancel...

I had a wonderful MidSummer party planned for yesterday. I sent out invitations with my mom and sister's names the week their tickets were finalized. At has been valiantly making it to family dinners (and then then curling into my side on the sofa later), but I knew At wouldn't be able to come to an actual party. 

I really wanted to cancel this party... but I'd just invited so many people, some when I bumped into them randomly, that I was afraid that people would show up anyway.

So we carried on, and it was kinda nice to see people and see people having fun. There were flower crowns and butterfly backdrops for selfies and a bonfire for wishes and people stayed late into the night...

books and the best friends

Books are some of my best friends and my friends are the best. When I asked Jan Shoemaker if I could bring my people to book club, she told me to bring anyone I wanted--kids and puppies included. I didn't expect her to have a cake with my mom's and sister's names emblazoned on it. 

Nor did I expect L to flout all the rules of cake-cutting and delve straight into the center of the cake to pull out the piece with my mom's name for her to eat. 

I have the best friends.

Pic: Mom with "her" piece of cake. My name was on there too, and I made a lot of "who wants a piece of me" jokes. 

in honor of those who came before us

We're reading Angeline Boulley's Warrior Girl Unearthed for book club. Much of it takes place in northern Michigan--on Sugar Island where L had disappeared to last week, in fact. It is YA, but deftly deals with NAGPRA and the book is wonderfully infused with details about indigenous Ojibwe culture. 

So we took a road trip yesterday to visit the Ziibiwing Center where I was happy to introduce my fam and Mr. Ray to each other. On the way home, we stopped by my office for a picnic lunch.

Pic: Nu's photo of us by the college sign. (I cropped some of it out.)