I can't believe

*That I have to get a visa to go to the U.K. (Ok, not quite a visa but still, an entry authorization--ETA--to procure ahead of time instead of at the airport when one lands there.)

         That it took about seven minutes to complete the process...

         That it's supposed to take three days to process... but the approval arrived via email within about 10 minutes.

*That I've taken on another child advocacy case.

         That my wonderful coordinator there has just been diagnosed with cancer. 

         That the kids in this case have the worst biblical names a pair of siblings could ever have.

*That it's snowing now. We were nearly to 50 degrees during the day when I had a lovely walk with KPB.

Pic: Big A, Huck, Max. Is something tasty going on? I love how Max loops his arm around yours to ensure you don't stop petting him. (And is it just me, or does Max look like he has a J.D.Vance-level of eyeliner on?)

a day in the park

although most days dawn familiar

today from this bench I can hear 

children sing the songs they know 

about love and loss they don't know 

amidst laughter--these are the petty 

triumphs I want, the amiable teasing

practice for adulthood or adolescence 

while song comes in lashes of breath

in skeins of sound, spinning a cocoon 

around pain, placing it gently into trees 

that are beginning... to open their hands 

so I can put my heart at the quiet mercy 

of these top-20 tunes, feel the light lift

at the horizon of each child's laughter

imagining even their chatter as prayers

as promises of continuous tomorrows

________________________

Pic: From yesterday's walk east along The Red Cedar. The paths are flooded; I snuck around a few parking lots to bypass the submerged sections.

in the news

There is a new Hunger Games novel--Sunrise on the Reaping--and it's the anti-AI, anti authoritarian reading I want for next weekend.

A friend sent me this explainer on the Insurrection Act, which may be invoked as early as April 20th, and it is fucking terrifying. 

I'm signing on to a letter at work urging our college leadership to proactively seek out other small colleges to launch a cooperative defense. This is such a generous and ingenious initiative and I'm so proud to call the lead author a friend.

Pic: I guess I kind of made the news 🤣.  That's the back of my head next to L's snow-white mane in the news story about Saturday's protest. (We're standing in formation to sing on the steps of the capitol; the crowd is on the lawn in front of us.)

when I let go

I seek rest while my words 
continue to work like 
beautiful outlaws
          for although I am meant to go
          I know no one has died 
          of being tired 
look--objectification in the mirror
is closer than it appears

and yet I find
          I've started to imagine myself
          as someone with holes
          in my hands 

___________________

Pic: L and I made a trip to our Daffodil Hill and it seems like the daffs are a bit early this year? (When I searched "daffodil hill, all of my other posts were from the last week of April.)

"if your voice held no power they would not be trying to censor it"

I hurried through my morning chores so L and I could head to the hands-off protest around 11.

I haven't been singing with the women's choir I got into two years ago regularly, but today, I stood on the steps of the capitol with Sistrum and sang call-and-response songs to start up the crowd. There were some fiery speakers. I particularly liked that Rep. Dylan Wegela shouted out the DSA and suggested that anyone not representing the people (no matter what their political affiliation) should be voted out. 

And what a great turnout for the "hands off" protests all across the U.S. today. On social media, I'm seeing videos of rallies that are miles long and and thousands of people strong.

I'm also hearing that while the protests were shown on the tv in other countries, mainstream media in the US hasn't been covering it. (I don't have cable and don't know for sure.)

I'd heard of the #SitYourBlackAssDown signal from Black leaders ahead of today as a way of protecting Black people from police violence as well as a "your turn" gesture to the rest of the population. And post-protest, Black leaders have correctly pointed out 1) the absence of black people at the protests has meant absence of police in helmets and anarchists inciting violence 2) how in the long laundry list of all matters that need protection from this administration, Black Lives are seldom mentioned although Trump's interactions are always adversarial and his initiatives always antagonistic towards Black people. I cannot unsee that now--posters at the protest supported everyone from immigrants and trans people to veterans and teachers, but I did not see any posters about racial injustice. We need to do better.

Still and all, it felt good to be at the rally today, and made me feel like I was actively engaging with the democratic process. And it was great to be there with comrades like L and RS, AH, SD, and so many others. Standing on the steps of the capitol and seeing the thousands of people amassed there, I, along with many of the singers around me, teared up. It was powerful and humbling.

Pic: A portion of the crowd at the protest today. My eyes kept going to the "if your voice held no power they would not be trying to censor it" sign.

grateful

Grateful no one was hurt when Nu's school was hit by lightning. Some computers sparked, the fire alarms went off, and everyone had to go stand outside in the pouring rain. (And Nu got a good story out of it.)

Grateful for all the hard work my students do. Yesterday, five of them presented their research papers and posters at Honors Day. (And my academic advisee won the graduating senior trophy!)

Grateful for academic freedom (so far). I'm on a few lowkey watchlists, but haven't been censored or censured (yet). The talk I gave was critical of the administration and... I shared the panel with colleagues who were similarly critical. (However, colleagues have told me I should scrub my social media when I travel abroad.)

Grateful for my Boss Day today--we got takeout Thai food for dinner. And lunch tomorrow. (I guess this effectively ends my month of claiming birthday privilege.)

Pic: Grateful for the splash of reds and pink from the very twiggy geraniums I got for free from a local nursery five years ago. (It was the end of the outdoor season and they were going to compost them). 

things I should remember

 ...L's birthday! I ordered her gift ahead of time and everything, and still forgot on the day. She's usually in Oregon at this time of the year, but that's no excuse... I feel so bad and I'm groveling hard. 

...That not everyone knows who Scout is. So when I was telling people I just met (a student's mom, a friend of a friend) about how I can't go to UU anymore because sitting in silence makes me think of Scout and then I start crying, they thought Scout was... my husband!  (Also, the topic came up organically and I was lowkey laughing at myself, I swear--I'm not buttonholing random folk to trauma dump on them.)

...The universities that are doing what they need to do. Tufts is declaring support for their detained student, Georgetown University is doubling down on their DEI citing their Jesuit mission. 

...Yes, it's terrifying that three Yale professors who study authoritarianism, including Timothy Snyder whose On Tyranny has been so instructive, have decamped for Canada because of the current political climate in the U.S.

...It's important to remember there are more academics right here and that it's time to get serious about action and solidarity. As Siva Vaidyanathan reminds us in this article in The New Republic. "Columbia University did not fail academia or the country; only its temporary leaders did. The strength of the university remains committed to resisting and doing good work for society. More than 100 faculty members and students have been protesting the university’s decision to fold, each risking admonishment or worse from the administration. Many have been writing publicly against their bosses. That is courage. That is solidarity. It’s a 90-minute train ride from New Haven to Manhattan. One would have hoped Yale professors upset with Columbia would join their colleagues on the streets of Morningside Heights rather than drive up the Queen Elizabeth Way to Toronto." 

Well said. 

Pic: Blue Heron on the banks by the rapids of The Red Cedar.