trash turtles all the way down

I was worried about a dear friend who'd had open heart surgery last week. It made me feel a little better when I got to see their dear face while I dropped off some medication I'd picked up (they can't be alone, so I could either stay with them while their partner picked up the meds or pick up the meds while their partner stayed with them). 

I hadn't heard a peep out of my mom or sis for a whole day. So when the phone rang around 2 am, just as I was putting the puppies and the house to bed, I freaked the fuck out because I thought something was wrong with either my friend or my mom and dad. But no, it was just my mom calling to chat. I think she was a bit thrown off by DST too? Anyway. 

After that, I kept trying to read myself to sleep. Big A was at work, and then he texted to say he'd been attacked by a patient. That was it for sleep last night. I was so sad and worried for him and made him send me pictures and cried over all the scratches and bruises I could see.

And I got to hear the whole story today... I am sad for the patient suffering a psychotic episode in prison and then again in the hospital. I am sad for the security guard who gets paid minimum pay and is expected to put his life on the line--he got attacked first and Big A was trying to help him him when he got attacked too. There are no villains here. It's just awfulness all the way down. I'm just thankful there were no guns involved.
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Pic: This made me laugh when I went thrifting this weekend because I needed new books for our Little Free Library (I got some awesome ones). I didn't get these books. They both have the same title--One Bite at a Time--it's just that they couldn't be more different in content: one is a book of recipes for cancer survivors and their caregivers and the other a collection of horror short stories!

round and round we go

Happy St. Patrick's Day! The U.S. Military under the new Defense Secretary has banned cultural awareness celebrations like Black History and Hispanic Heritage, but celebrated St. Patrick's Day today. Oh what could the difference be? I wonder if I can spot it?! 

Seriously though, I'll not begrudge any celebrations of the Irish, who are consistently on the right side of postcolonial and decolonial history. Including today, where there were huge marches for Gaza everywhere in Ireland and their Prime Minister said that he would honor the ICC's arrest warrant if Netanyahu were on Irish soil. 

Which leads me to today's despair: Israel has resumed its bombing of Gaza and 86 children have died in an hour. I don't want to go back to last year and its ceaseless toll of children dying by the hour, my unending vigil and anguish, having to face the goddam cruelty and grief in this world. 

I can't explain the righteous outrage and fear coursing through so many private conversations these days around detentions and "disappearings" of student leaders and dissenters. Over and over again, people are debating if silence / unawareness / disregard is the better option. What can I say... You know that Niemöller poem that begins "first they came..."? It's not a very long poem, is what I'm saying.

Pic: Nu and Big A in the foreground with other students and families in the background at the "Admitted Students' Day" event this weekend. I want to take a moment to celebrate my Nu and their excitement about going to college in the fall. Truly, I did not imagine they'd be so excited... Nu even checks the college cafeteria menu on the online portal every day... it's adorable.  

a very short journey to Varanasi

when  the priest  says it's time to wed

the groom declares he must leave now

he will go on a pilgrimage to Varanasi 

where  he yearns to become a scholar 

the  bride's brother  hurries after  him

with an umbrella, a brass pot of water

come back, he pleads, marry my sister

he waves the umbrella over the groom

who  is already dressed for a wedding

he  carefully washes  the  groom's feet 

with turmeric water from the brass pot 

in which marigold and rose petals float 

to soften his pleas, his clear entreaties...

the groom eagerly agrees, then presents 

his brother-in-law-to-be with a gold ring 

the wedding carries on as it was meant to

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Note: In South Indian Hindu wedding ceremonies there is a part called the Kasi Yatra (Pilgrimage to Kasi-Varanasi) which is such a little piece of theater. The groom declares that he's decided to continue being a bachelor student-scholar and takes a little ceremonial walk pretending to take off to the scholarly city Varanasi while the bride's brother is despatched to beg him to return to the wedding. They say it is to mark the passage of the groom from the state of bachelorhood to that of a householder. But it seems like a lot of drama. Haha. The groom is expected to give his brother-in-law-to-be a precious ring to reward him. My uncle still wears the ring my father gave him.

like a drawing of myself

the body's shape is true 
its wisdom is intact 

my limbs chaste

perhaps not an immortal 

but never expendable

still a chosen one 

my frame rich and heavy 

as the best garden

vivid and fat

my self feels anonymous

wants to answer now

seeks surrender

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Pic: My mom and sister sent me a photo of themselves playing holi with friends yesterday! It gave me joy just to look at it and made me me want to schedule a Holi date for later this month when things calm down a bit. I love how holi anonymizes everyone... you can barely tell who's who and can't tell their gender/age/class/color.

could that be

Last night, I was hanging out with Max and Huck when Nu showed up in the rumpus room at 2:30 or so... They'd headed for bed hours ago, so I was confused, but they told me they were going outside to see the blood moon...

I had no idea! Nu is in an astronomy class at school and that's where they'd heard! Edcuation! Don't disband the Department of Education!

Anyway, we went outside and it was beautiful and surreal. I liked the reversal of Nu showing me something in nature.

Pic: My blurry phone pic of the blood moon. It's Holi today too, and for once it's warm enough to play outside but I didn't plan ahead.

Helping--Period

Lysne Beckwith Tait, founder of Helping Women Period and author of Instigator: Creating Change Without Being the Loudest Voice in the Room visited my class today. She is wonderful and fun and I find her story of starting a non profit addressing period poverty over the course of a week inspiring. She's responsible for some big changes in Michigan--like getting the tampon tax repealed.

And her "menstrual products petting zoo" is always a big hit. Reusable period products like cups, discs, and period underpants are usually in clamshell packaging in stores. Her "petting zoo" lets people get a feel of the products.

Her anecdote about having a booth at a true crime convention and noticing all the people dressed up as serial killers skirting the period supplies booth is hilarious. I will say menstruation holds little stigma for our current crop of young people. I love that they'll just dig around in their backpacks for a tampon in the middle of class and leave holding it openly. 

The big tip Lysne gave us about affecting change is to decide what change we want to see and then listen to many perspectives on how to affect that change. "Take your ego out of it." Sounds like good but tough advice. 

Pic: Lysne with my class. I love the sassy picture of Lysne we have up on the screen as well!

"Live your life as you meant to live it"

"Live your life as you meant to live it..." That was the response that a fellow panelist gave to a student's question about whether it made sense to apply for a Fulbright scholarship now that federal funding is being pulled and the Department of Education is being disbanded. I thought it was a wonderful reminder not to obey/comply/be defeated in advance. 

I think the talk went well. It was a full house, and I have to love the students who whooped at the end of my presentation and then promptly left. But I'm grateful to be working with colleagues who care about students and our world. 

Note to myself. I've got to stop spending hours upon hours on a presentation that lasts mere minutes, right? But lots of people wanted my slides, so perhaps it will live on in that way. 

Pic: My jasmine is blooming! It's glorious!