PocoBrat
A Daily Self-indulgent Postcolonial/Feminist/Poetry-in-Progress/Culture Blog
Sunday, December 07, 2025
unexpected glimmers
Saturday, December 06, 2025
lines by heart
and they slap you into it if not
everyone should fade away
held soft in love and memories
Friday, December 05, 2025
stopping by the woods on a snowy... afternoon
I was.
Except I couldn't find my phone when she came to pick me up. She tried calling, but my ringer is usually off when I'm teaching, so that didn't work. We finally found it using "Find My Phone" under a pile of kitchen laundry I'd been folding and then abandoned some time this morning.
All of which to say, when we got to Baker Woods, it was the much needed rest and reset I needed.
And now back to my regularly scheduled promises to keep and all the miles to go before I sleep.
Pic: Baker Woods with L.
Thursday, December 04, 2025
Intersecting at Stoppard
And it turns out that theater is life.
In a literal sense.
In a letter to the Times of London, in response to Stoppard's obituary, Michael Baum, a Professor emeritus of surgery, wrote: "In 1993 my wife and I went to see the first production of Arcadia by Tom Stoppard and in the interval I experienced a Damascene conversion. As a clinical scientist I was trying to understand the enigma of the behaviour of breast cancer, the assumption being that it grew in a linear trajectory spitting off metastases on its way. In the first act of Arcadia, Thomasina asks her tutor, Septimus: "If there is an equation for a curve like a bell, there must be an equation for one like a bluebell, and if a bluebell, why not a rose?" With that Stoppard explains chaos theory, which better explains the behaviour of breast cancer. At the point of diagnosis, the cancer must have already scattered cancer cells into the circulation that nest latent in distant organs. The consequence of that hypothesis was the birth of adjuvant systemic chemotherapy and rapidly we saw a striking fall of the curve that illustrated patients' survival. Stoppard never learnt how many lives he saved by writing Arcadia."
[As it turns out, I wrote a letter to the editor myself this week trying to reach David Shulman. I actually met David in the late 1990s at Hebrew University in Jerusalem. I was with a group of people at IAS and heard someone say "Tamil Pessalama?" (Shall we speak Tamil?). I turned around expecting to see a Tamil person (the intonation and accent were so perfect), but here was this genial white guy. David is a genius (a MacArthur Genius even!) and works on poets I revere. But more recently and importantly, he's been a lifeline for me with his tireless work and compassionate voice for Palestine. I wrote a note thanking him and sent it to him at his university email address, but it was deemed undeliverable. So I then sent it to the letters editor at NYRB where he has written most recently with an earnest request to forward it... and they must have! Because this morning, I received a lovely email from David that brought tears to my eyes. (I wonder how much of my letter writing is due to reading The Correspondent!)]
Pic: Michael Baum's Letter in The Times. All the deaths since mom's seem extra poignant--Andrea Gibson, Robert Redford, Diane Keaton, Alice Wong, Dharmendra, Jimmy Cliff--I'm seeing them all through her connections to them too.
Wednesday, December 03, 2025
some noes
*
I had a good time at the thrift store (I found some great copies of some fairly recent books) but somehow managed to forget the one thing I actually went in there for... an old lampshade I plan to use as a collar for our Christmas tree.
*
Speaking of which, no--our tree isn't up. I took Thanksgiving down just this past weekend, and I like a little palate cleanser... all the better to savor Christmas decorations. (Also, the kids won't be here until mid December, which is when the tree will come up from the basement. Hallelujah.)
Pic: I kind of did decorate for Thanksgiving! (And didn't do *anything* for Halloween.)
Tuesday, December 02, 2025
beyond thankful
And it made her so happy to hear that Big A's favorite photo from Thanksgiving was this one of At on the sofa with the puppies, because it is so reminiscent of that whole genre of paintings from the 19th century, where women are reclining luxuriously on sofas while reading with pets--except this one is updated for the 21st century by At reading on her phone.
I mean... it's nice, I suppose, to be compared to a fancy lady in a painting... But also, while Big A's love was never in question, he used to brag a lot about "my boy" and found At's transition tough, so this compliment meant a lot to At.
And a shoutout to whatever art appreciation course Big A took in college. Some of it may come from his artist grandparents and mom, but his art references frequently have me looking stuff up.
_______________
ALSO, THANK YOU FOR READING!! It's going to take me a minute to get through the comments...
Monday, December 01, 2025
in the aftermath the answer is yes
Pic: The aftermath of yesterday's winter storm.
time zones
Sunday, November 30, 2025
ruh-roh! I have a broken toe
Except now it's being taken seriously and I have an appointment with a podiatrist and a boot. The boot is cumbersome, but it compresses the top of my foot and that feels so good. It would have been seriously helpful if I had gotten it two weeks ago when my foot was all swollen, puffy, and about thrice as painful. Well, now I know better.
The nurse practitioner has prescribed me some pain medications to pick up at the pharmacy. I didn't tell her I did not even take OTC pain meds all this while.
I'm usually pretty wimpy with discomfort and pain. But at this point, the physical pain seems merely a distant echo of the psychic pain.
Pic: My photo of the x-ray. My foot looks so weird!
Saturday, November 29, 2025
field notes
Friday, November 28, 2025
post Friendsgiving post
Thursday, November 27, 2025
T for Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 26, 2025
somehow...

Tuesday, November 25, 2025
scary (probably toxic)
Why the heck was I so determined to be as miserable as possible?
Also, why do I keep listening to my mom's old voicemails. My sister asked me if I found it comforting or sad... And it hits differently at different times...
Possibly the worst thing I'm doing to myself is lurking on my mom's sibling group chat. I got added for updates when my mom was in the hospital, and people have forgotten I'm in there. Now when her four remaining sibs are making plans and carrying on about their lives without her, I feel so bad/sad/mad... I should just leave, but feel like that's another connection I'll lose.
Pic: The island-flavored picture I took of Puerto Rico IN THE AIRPORT.
unexpected glimmers
"I can't find you... ARE YOU UPSTAIRS SLEEPING IN MY BED?" L texted halfway through the evening, making me giggle. Actually, ...
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Friends and old neighbors shutting it down in honor of John Crawford. _
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Today is the birthday of the best sister in the whole world (mine:)! Happy, Happy Birthday, Chelli! [AA, my favorite aunt in the whole world...
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I have the feeling that I’m going to succumb to the season and put out a list of resolutions soon. Just wanted to establish this heads up th...











